Strangest...Blockbuster Experience...EVER

In keeping with the theme of this strange month...

Middle Child wanted to go to a party tonight. She cleaned her room and did her homework, she looked fantastic, we got to the party and... no parents. I have a pretty strict "no parties without parents" rule, so obviously, I wasn't leaving her there. She was bummed, but surprisingly agreeable. She was unhappy to be missing the party, but understood my point.

Because she was so good natured about it, I offered to let her have a friend stay over. We picked up some snacks and stopped at the Blockbuster to let her pick out a movie. 30 minutes later, she'd made a decision, and we went to check out.

Do you realize Blockbuster charges $5 for a movie? I did not know this, as I rarely stop there, preferring online movies, Redbox, and Netflix. Guess what else I didn't know? Blockbuster does not accept checks. Yeah, I'm a check writing kind of girl, ever since Small One made off with my debit card. So, I had to leave the store and go home to borrow the man's debit card. Sort of a pain, but you know, not the worst thing in the world.

Checked Redbox online to see if they had the movie MC was going for, but no, they didn't. Back we went to Blockbuster, got the movie, and then drove to the other end of town to pick up her friend. I was getting tired, and a little bit cranky. I hadn't had dinner.

We got home, MC and friend went off to her room, semi-functional-laptop-that-serves-as-dvd-player in tow, and... no movie in the Blockbuster case. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!?

Called the store, and spoke to the extremely apologetic clerk. He checked to see if they had another copy of the film. They did not. He recommended a similar film as a second choice. I asked the girls, they said that sounded great, I got back on the phone with the guy, and he told me they don't have that one. Really?!? BUT he had another recommendation at the ready. This time I didn't even run it by the girls, I just sent the Man off to fetch it. While he was gone, I went back to MC's room to break the news that we were going with a third option. As I was telling them this, the Man called from the video store.

You guessed it. They didn't have that one either. Seriously.

I think my biggest question of the evening (and you can probably guess there are many questions I'd like to ask) is WHY did the man keep making helpful suggestions and offering to hold movies for us without CHECKING to see if the movies were in his actual STORE?

Punchline of the night? Dvd player's not working either. Thank you, and goodnight.

Donuts, Potholes, and Tulsa Hair

I'm in the car right now, returning home from my little brother's wedding. It was a good time, aside from the obligatory wedding drama, and it was fantastic to see my brother and his wonderful friends, which isn't something I get to do very often.

It was my first time in Tulsa, OK, and I have a few observations:

• Tulsa should be voted "worst state in which to put on eye makeup in the car", because the potholes are intense! I very narrowly escaped putting my eye out several times, and spent some time with eyeliner in odd parts of my face.
• The names of businesses in Tulsa are odd. "Cowboy Sharkies" is a popular bar, and other bars include "The Dusty Dog" and "The Blue Turtle Tavern" and "Magoos Eatertainment", but I think my favorite was the office building called "McJunkin Redman". What does that even mean?
• Tulsa folks love them some donuts. There are donut shops EVERYWHERE! Not just your standard Dunkin or Krispy Kreme, either, these are donut shops of no particular brand, many of the signs just say "Donuts".
• Easily 50 % of the population of Tulsa has some variation on this hairstyle:

Now, this is not to say that it all looks exactly like that. No, there are many many ways to wear it, but it is all the same basic cut. Old ladies have that cut. Young men have the David Cook version. Girls have it wavy, straight, styled towards the face, styled away from the face... the list goes on. In my humble opinion, the hairdo is a little wacky to be so prevalent! But I have a theory. Remember how Oklahoma is the place "where the wind comes sweeping down the plain"? Yeah, it really really is. The wind is so crazy that I basically spent the trip despairing of having even passable hair. So I think the Tulsa folk have hit upon a solution- make your hair all wacky and sticking out all over the place, and then when you get stuck in a crazy windtunnel just trying to get from your house to the car, no one will notice.

Anyway, I have to say I really enjoy traveling, and seeing new places, even places full of potholes, donuts, and unusual 'dos. And this trip was worth it just to be able to share my brother's wedding with him.

Congratulations, Marion and Sarah! I hope you continue to grow in love and friendship, and your union is long and full of peaceful happiness.

Mole Bats and Advice

My previously discussed Middle Child has only in the past 2 years or so become a rather difficult person; prior to that she was basically the human incarnation of Disney's Tigger. Bounding through life with unbridled natural exuberance, more or less oblivious to any destruction she might be leaving in her wake... wait, I think maybe she's still Tigger, just the dark version. Darth Tigger, if you will. But for the first twelve or so years of her life, she pretty much looked like this:

Man, I miss that kid! Hopefully, she'll be back in a few years.

My Oldest, though, my one and only boy child, has always been more of an Eeyore. A good guy, hilariously funny, actually, and sensitive and kind, but always a worrier. Hiding behind his hair from the moment he had a say in the matter, fretting over things in a way to which it's difficult for me to relate. (I'm more of a cockeyed optimist, I think.) This is him, with the little sister he adores, on his mom's birthday:

See what I mean?

I'm not sure how the Small One will turn out, of course, but I do know she is a girl with a purpose. Always with an agenda, that one, and pretty insistent upon it's execution. A funny thing about her lately, though- she's gotten lazy with some pronunciation. I mean, she's not quite two, so she requires a bit of translation anyway, but there are a few things she used to say VERY clearly, clearly enough for complete strangers to understand, that she's starting to slur a little, just because she knows we know what she means. The biggest example of this is the way she asks to nurse. We're still breastfeeding, but typically we prefer to nurse on the bed, because I'm not one for nursing a toddler in front of people. (Well- with a few exceptions.) When she wants milk, she does the sign for milk and says, usually very loudly, "MILK BED MOMMY, PLEASE!!!!!" But recently, she shortened this to "MILK BED PLEASE" and now she's begun to say "MILKBED!" as one word, but she's started slurring it, so it sounds more like "MOLEBAT!" than anything else.

We pretend not to understand her. We say "Molebats? Where? We don't want any molebats around here!" And then she slows down and pronounces it, but it makes her mad, I can tell. What is a molebat, anyway? I don't think I want to meet one!

But I digress, because I wanted to talk about my eldest. He has a new favorite phrase, which he tosses at me any time I attempt to make a suggestion about his life. The phrase? "ARE YOU CRAZY?!?!?" As in "Hey, maybe you should go jogging!" "ARE YOU CRAZY? It's too hot." "I think you should take Spanish over the summer." "ARE YOU CRAZY? I don't want to spend my summer doing school!" (And yes, he took the class, and made a high A, so perhaps I am not as crazy as previously suggested, eh?)

Over the weekend, we had a bit of a falling out. He signed up for football, went to one practice, wants to quit. I think that's not the best of plans, and maybe he should try to tough it out for a little while longer and see if he can do it. "ARE YOU CRAZY? If I stay in football I'll either have to quit my night job or fail my classes!" So I suggest he quit his night job (because he has a seasonal weekend job as well) and he, of course, asks if I am crazy, because if he quits his night job, then when the seasonal job ends he'll have NO job.

So I did what any self respecting mom would do. I gave one final piece of advice: "Call your father." Because really, what do I care about football? I don't even LIKE football. But his dad just put $200 into football equipment, so he may wish to have a say.

Today, Oldest Child comes in after school and says "What should I do about school and work and football?" Not being in the mood today to have my sanity questioned, I say "I don't know, Honey." He gets this really hurt look on his face and says "You always do that! You refuse to give me advice!"

I was rather stunned by this particular criticism, and looked at him askance. He said "It's TRUE! You either tell me to do whatever I want, or you tell me what I'm doing is the wrong thing, or you tell me you don't know!?!?!?"

Correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't that called "giving advice"?