What's in a Name?

Because I enjoy being at home with my Small One, I make every attempt to find work that I can do out of the home, rather than having to leave her and go to an office. Lately, I'm doing a lot of work for kgb, the "knowledge generation bureau".

You may have heard of kgb, they've been marketing like mad, even during the Super Bowl. It's a question and answer service. Basically, people pay them 99 cents so we can do their homework for them, answer their sex questions, and tell them the best sort of weed and where it's legal. I mean, that's mostly what I end up answering, with a few fun history or celebrity questions in just to make it tolerable, and so many angsty teen dating questions I feel like a cross between Dear Abbey and a magic 8 ball. "Will Joe ever like me?" "What's the best way to ask a girl out?"

Some of the questions are dull, some of the questions introduce me to worlds I never wanted to know existed, but some are fun to research. Tonight, I got a question from someone about baby names. This person wanted to know a good name for a baby whose parents are named Brandon and Brittany.

Ok! This I know how to answer. I pulled up a baby name generator, put in the information, and voila! A list of names... including this lovely name for a little girl:

Beortbtraed

Don't try to steal that one, now. I don't want to find out that my readers have gone and snatched that one out from under me! I'm definitely naming my next child that.

As soon as I learn to pronounce it!

Not in the Running for Mother of the Year

Often, when my friends and I fail to do something we meant to do, or feed the children cereal for dinner, or run so late to carpool that the child being retrieved is the last pitiful little figure, sitting on the steps with the principal, we comment that we suppose we're no longer in the running for mother of the year. We stop looking for the people in the van to pull up the driveway with flowers and a tiara and one of those giant checks.

Lately, I've been pretty sure I've been disqualified from the entire competition. I feel as scattered, smothered, and burnt as a plate of Waffle House hashbrowns. I think I'm keeping up, but just barely... I hit the ground running in the morning and collapse into bed well after midnight, feeling there's something I've forgotten.

Today, I was spending a quiet morning at home with my Small One, for a change, and quite enjoying it. Nothing was "on fire" in my life, nothing requiring my immediate and total attention, just a mellow time. We were about to play a game, and I had an art project in mind for later. Small sat on the bed and said, in a friendly conversational tone,

"Daddy is a GREAT father."

I agreed. I felt warm and fuzzy about this. Yes, I thought, we're doing a fine job with this little person, she has a really fun and secure life, with two loving parents. Go us!

Then she made her follow-up statement.

"You're not a great mother, but I still like you."

Sigh.

Sometimes it's just Sweet