Is it because I'm not from Texas?

I was writing about rodeos in Texas today, when I came across this:

Want to win a beautiful belt buckle?
Well this is all you have to do:
- You and a partner enter a pen with a wild hog.
- Chase hog (not the other way around).
- Catch hog.
- Bag hog in a burlap sack.
- Pull hog across the finish line in one of the fastest times.
Sounds like a HOOT? .... It is!

For the record, I do not think that "sounds like a hoot". I think it sounds like something very scary that mean people would make me do in some sort of terrible nightmare. Afterward, I would probably run from house to house trying to escape, only to find that the sweet-faced housewives in each house were Nazi sympathizers out to turn me in. (Because that's what happens when I encounter scary mean people in my dreams.)

Here's what I think might be more fun, if you were really in the mood for a new belt buckle. (Though why you would be, I cannot imagine.)

Want a beautiful new belt buckle?

Well this is all you have to do:
- Get into your car, possibly with a friend.
- Drive the car to the mall (or walk if you live nearby).
- Park and walk into the mall.
- Pick out a belt buckle.
- Put the belt buckle across the counter and pay with your credit or debit card.
Sounds like a HOOT? .... It's not, especially, but it'll get the job done!