Actual speech given to me and my 14 year old by her pediatrician:
Ok, she started off rational enough:
"She doesn't really need the hpv vaccine yet, since she's not sexually active."
(I nodded and smiled, 14yo confirmed that she is indeed not sexually active, I said I have issues with unnecessarily giving such a new vaccine, and she continued...)
"Oh, and they don't know how long the antibodies last, either. The protection may just wear off after a certain number of years, and then there she'll be, and maybe she'll have a husband who goes all WOO HOO on her, and brings her home something! Because that's what these men DO! They reach a certain age, and who KNOWS what even goes on in their minds? It's like they have a brain fart or something and they go out there all WOOWOOWOO and then God only knows what they're bringing home."
(Yes, the large and bold indicates high pitch and high volume)
As you can imagine, I had no response to that. Unless you count stunned silence as a response.
In the car, my child said to me, "Did my dr just say that when I grow up, my husband is going to have a brain fart that will cause him to cheat on me and give me an std?"
Yes, my darling, I believe she did.