Wednesday, February 11, 2009

Corrected by a toddler!

Small One is potty training. It is going remarkably well right now, but last week... not so much. On Friday, she peed FIVE pairs of underwear by noon, peed all over her toys, and was just an all around pain in the neck. Seriously, I had to go to Target to get Pull ups before nap time, and she fought me the whole time I was getting her dressed...just really AWFUL. I was ready to check myself into some sort of facility.

Meanwhile, the Man texts me, to ask me a question I've already answered. Irritated, I call him to mention that I've already answered the question, and to tell him what's going on with our child, at which point he feels the need to correct me for my language. (For the record, the child was NOT within earshot, and I did NOT drop the f-bomb, which, in my opinion, means I was behaving admirably, all things considered.) After his sanctimonious lecture, we hang up, at which point he IMMEDIATELY texts me back to ask me the same question for a third time.

At this point, I want to lie on the floor, screaming, and hammer the phone into the floor. Sometimes I truly wish I were a cartoon. Or a sitcom character. Sometimes I think maybe I AM and no one's clued me in.


So anyway... I'm in the middle of all this, and she's SCREAMING at me, and we go to the car, and she refuses to get in. She says "I NOT need a go BYE BYE in THAT car!!! I needa go in my OTHER CAR!!!!!!!!"


Erm...we only have one car. So I say "Get in the car or I will PUT you in the car, and I know you like to do it by yourself." and she still refuses, so I put her in the car, and she's SCREAMING and arching her back and basically being an insaniac.

I shut the door and step away from the vehicle. I take some deep breaths, then get in the front seat and say, very calmly, "If you'll stop crying and be nice, I'll get you some stickers when we get to Target."


She keeps screaming.


I say, a little less calmly, "What do you want? Do you want a cereal bar?!??!?"


No, she emphatically does NOT want a cereal bar, and the screaming continues.


Now I'm over it, and I say, pretty loudly, "YOU NEED to STOP YELLING!!!"

She gets really quiet all of a sudden, and says "YOU needa stop yelling."


Now I'm trying not to laugh, and I say "Yeah, ok, but YOU need to stop yelling."


And she looks at me, all indignant and self righteous, and puts her hand on her chest as she says "I DO already."

Little Ratfink. Sometimes I've VERY concerned about what the future holds.

4 comments:

perfect just like mommy said...

Amy, you NEED a be less agitated. Go have a mojito.

-Lilly

Chaotic Joy said...

Oh woman. I think she and Clara may be soul mates. She hit two with vengence and II think we will be at war for the next 20 years. Good thing they're cute.

We need to get our girls together and just let them beat the crap out of each other.

amy said...

Lilly- come visit and bring mojitos. =)

JOY! Seriously. Dude. We need to get together soon!

Stephanie said...

Amy, you crack me up...love this, and will be back later to do some more browsing! So glad I found you...Facebook rocks!

I've got a blog too! I don't have a link on FB, because the family's there, lol.

http://www.xanga.com/subarcticsuburbia