The world of freelance is definitely "feast or famine". This happens to be a feast week, which is not optimal, because I'm leaving town on Friday. I mean, it is optimal, because I won't have to fret over how we're going to pay bills when we get back, but on the other hand, I really need to do laundry and pack and plan snacks and all those other things that moms do before the family gets in the car and drives for 7 hours. I want to make a CD for the road, and other trivial things that would be no problem if I were a stay-at-home mom instead of a work-at-home mom, but tend to get lost in the shuffle when I'm under a slew of deadlines.
Anyway, I'm feeling the pressure this week, and when I'm feeling pressured, I talk to myself. A lot. Do you do that? I talk myself through projected difficult conversations, I boss myself around, I talk out situations that feel tricky, and I tell myself why it's all going to be ok. I might be nuts, but I'm just being honest.
Yesterday, as previously noted, was full of procrastination. Today I planned to turn over a new leaf, get a ton of things done, make a huge dent in my workload, being truly productive. I wrote things down in a datebook! I set alarms to remind me of things I needed to remember! When I went to bed last night, I was a girl on a mission, and today was going to be a whole new day.
Except...I didn't sleep. Like, really at all. And Small One woke up cranky and complaining of a stomach ache, and didn't want to go to school. That all adds up to a disaster of a morning, and by the time I finally dropped her off and headed home, it was almost 10am, which is hardly the kind of get-to-it early starting sort of day I'd planned.
I gave myself a pep talk on the way home, by myself in the car. I listed off, out loud, which projects took priority. I said, out loud, that there would be no more procrastination, and I would get plenty of things turned in, and other things would be well underway by the time the school bus rounded the corner, and I would MEET the school bus! With the dogs! Walking the dogs! Because I'd have gotten so much done I'd be ready for a work break, and by golly I'd deserve one!
It may give you some insight into my procrastinating ways to know that, as I stopped saying these things out loud, and started sort of zoning out, I suddenly had a flash of inspiration, and said, before I could stop myself,
"But FIRST, I should organize my Facebook photo albums."